How is it possible that someone be so perfect & brilliant . I sometimes feel rather lost in dept because i don't really get much information . Whatever i get is disjointed portions of the whole information , which makes it rather difficult for me , because i admit . i'm a control freak . i don't know what i'm driving at but work these few days has seem to have lost it's purpose coz i don't see the end goal/vision in sight . Just another day to the inevitable doom . Opportunities are open for me to prove something , but there seem no point in doing so . At least , that's the way i see it . It all boils down the question of "So what ? " .. So what if i'm scheduled to share with the dept about innovation on our next training day ? So what if i handle high profile meetings ? So what i'm enjoying myself in office while my other counterparts are doing probably the most mudane stuff ? So what if the article is going to publicize among the planning community ? So what ? I don't see why i should bother . It's called a low level of engagement with the staff . Employees seeing themselves as seperate entity and not as stakeholders . I need a new form of excitment .