i have been sitting at my computer for the longest time ever , doing nothing . I wasn't even surfing the net with my beloved firefox . I was sat and stoned , hearing songs on repeat play . My MSN list had lots of people online and "company" was just a double click away . It's sounds all rather depressing to sit down doing nothing and leave emo songs on repeat play .

It's sorta like making a stew . Only difference is that u dump all the negative emotions , all the stupid things you have done over the days , the moments when you extremely annoyed with those around , all the times where you realise that you can never have everything you want , all the tiny insecurities and self-doubts that u had and slowly cook it over the stove , leaving everything to boil and eventually burn into this huge mess of darkness . You can scrub the daylights out of urself , use the best detergent , hell , it may even a tefal pot ( disclaimer , i've never used a tefal pot , just citing examples here ) . That black stain will always still be there .

You know something . it doesn't matter . What good is it to blog about your stupid negative feelings when no one can anything about it but urself . Writing used to be some form of catharsis , but now , it just seems so pointless . sigh .. nothing really matters anymore . I can just sleep at home the whole day , ignorant and being completely oblivious to whatever is going on . Sleeping used to be this luxury which i could never afford . I'm always complaining about not getting enough sleep , feeling lethargic during the day and stuff , but i realised ,it's not that i had insufficient sleep , it' just that i've focusing on energies on things that have close to zero ROI ( return of investment ) Bah ! .

As i was reading "Save Karyn" ,it's about this NYC girl who got herself into a $20,000 credit card debt . Anyhow , she talks about being the CEO of her life . You have to run your life like you're the CEO i.e. Me INC. , impervious to the external market fd like in an organisation there are many different departments , whether it is the finance department , friends department , health department etc . Each department affects one another and it's up to you to manage it and take charge to ensure that you make "profit" out of Me INC. at the end of the day .

Looking back the earlier 2 paragraphs , it is very paralysing to sit around and allow your negative externalities take over , because you are not getting anything done and you're just wasting precious resources . In short , it's plain stupid . Why should u let something or someone get you down ? What happens to the company vision of Me INC. ? So , instead of sinking to that state , in the words of britney spears' latest single, "why don't you do something ? "

And do something i shall . if you feel that your personal INC. is going nowhere , perhaps u should too . okay .. now i sound like an infomercial