A Holiday Short Story : Space, Time & Motion

I think i'm dead . I honestly think so . I don't get out of bed and i have no need to eat . No need to fill myself with energy because there's no need to do anything . The only thing moving is the stereo , churning out coldplay on repeat . I contemplate getting out the bed for breakfast . I think no more . It's too exhausting . Sleep shall feed my hunger .

I don't remember what day it is . It's no longer important . Monday feels like Wednesday and Sunday feels like a Friday , the entire week melts into a day with 168 hours . i have no social life . I used to have one, but that's till i kept getting the dates mixed up and i don't show where i'm suppose to be . Now, time i getting it's revenge by screwing around with me . I could try to count the number of days i've seen the sun come up , but i don't think it's reliable . I don't trust myself and i've slept through days before .

It's like being hospital , just out of sugery , my state of delirium caused by a permanment anesthestic . Not that it matters . Maybe this is what it's like to feel high , no , not high , just stoned . The after effect of high. Life state of sobriety is too much to bear in this reality , too painful and the only way to pull through is to numb yourself. It's escapism in purest sense of the word . I figured that if i no longer make sense to world , then perhaps , like a scab , i'll be picked off and left behind . You always think it's the other way , how you hate the world and you don't want anything to do with it anymore , but you soon realise that , it's the other way around . The world doesn't want you . It's always the other way round .

Things weren't always like this in my earlier days. I fought hard , just like any normal human being would do , to bridge the gaps of what i am and who i want to be . I just kept on running , heck , on my best days, i even got people running along with me . But you know , it's not the physical that matters . I could always snap myself out of my bed , get breakfast and do the same ol' routine . It's really easy . It's the mental that hunts you, shoots you and lock you in a giant steel cage. I am just not equipped with the same emotional resilience as one might expect an average person to have .

I would like to think of myself as a logical person . You would think that someone like me would have a lot theories of how the complex world functions but i can tell you that there's nothing complex about it . Cause and effect . That's all . You do this, you get that . You want a chocalate coated caramel wafer , you need would need chocolate , caramel & a stick of wafer . No 2 ways about it . There's no reason that one might require a white fluffy rabbit in the entire recipe . Even until now , i'm still a strong believer in this . There's no need to get out of bed , so i don't , no rationale no purpose in doing so , except that all that thoughts about chocolate is making my hungry .

Chocolates anyone ? ( okay !! .. i dunno how to end the damn thing and i'm really thinking of raiding the store room for chocolates . I'm bored . I need a plan or some sort . Like go swimming 2 times a week or something . Rot anymore and i will end up like .. well .. like above , but how's the story ? .. haha .. am i author material ? .. hahahahhahaha ..