If i was a surgical intern

I was watching grey's anatomy and i was thinking , If i was a surgical intern , i think life would be very much different . My life would be definitely more exciting than what it is now . The intensity of going through an operation . I think i would like that very much . Not that i can do anything about it now . Me , with zero knowledge of biology or physics or chemisty . So , i guess that notion of me being a surgeon is definitely out of the window . Anyway , i doubt i can handle it . I'm crazy . Grey's anatomy is good vicarious living , especially you do get snitches of the medical jargon and understand why dopamine is adminstered to patients that are in a temporal concussion or how a brain dead pregnant patient should be kept alive just for the baby because it's bad for the baby coz the hypothalamus in the brain is vital in thermoregulation which is important for the survival of the baby or what is systolic or dystolic when it comes to blood pressures . i digress .

What i want to say is that , my life now . sucks . Anything . anything would be better than this fake life that i'm leading now . Maybe not a fake life . An empty life . A flat line on the EKG . No brain activity , Nothing . Zip . i take eons to get anything done , i spend all day staring at the goggle box . staring at my laptop , hoping that maybe , some form of the radiation emitted from the screen will make my brain twitch and perhaps grow smarter .

Obviously . that's not going to happen . The mess get stacked higer and higher . It's not going away . i own no wand . I don't keep up with my appointments as i previously can . and right now . my printer is spoilt . It's clearly an indication . Far worse than psychosomatic . It's like how my inactivity of my brain not only caused my body to cease function , now even the electronic devices around me are starting to break down . Bleargh .

The danger of boredom . People just really have no idea how dangerous boredom is. It goes further than a sense of frustration of having nothing to do , it messes with ur mind. Unwanted thoughts start crawling in , slow gnawing at ur ends and slowly , but surely, u start to unravel. The brain starts to unravel and at the end of the day , all you're left , it's not grey matter . it's a pool of grey pile of mess , the contusions all straightened out . metaphorically of course .

A wise friend just told me today not to overthink things . deeply steeped in irony and duh . always . always . easier said than done.


Haha .. maybe there are some form of similarities between me and those surgical interns in grey's anatomy . I mumble . i mumble like meredith .